#funny

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Dungeons and Dryers · thega.me.uk

https://thega.me.uk/2026/07/dungeons-and-dryers/
But last weekend, while I was running my monthly ‘Storm King’s Thunder’ D&D campaign, I asked one of the group to help me get the dryer down from the shelf. Immediately the group set to work removing the back panel and trying to figure out what was wrong with it, while still playing D&D.

cyberpapiii/chipotlai-max: The AI coding agent that runs on stolen Chipotle compute 🌯 Fork of OpenCode with Pepper AI as default model. Community project to add providers from Home Depot, Lowes, Target, Starbucks & more.

https://github.com/cyberpapiii/chipotlai-max
The AI coding agent that runs on stolen Chipotle compute 🌯 Fork of OpenCode with Pepper AI as default model. Community project to add providers from Home Depot, Lowes, Target, Starbucks & more.

Game Quest: The Backlog Battler on Steam

https://store.steampowered.com/app/3356660/Game_Quest_The_Backlog_Battler/
This Arcade Hack & Slash answers the age old question: "What if the games you never play could attack you?" Fight back your backlog! The more you paid, the more damage they will do to you! (just like in real life).

Times New Resistance — Abby Haddican

https://www.abbyhaddican.com/times-new-resistance
Introducing Times New Resistance – a Times New Roman impersonator that autocorrects the autocrats. Do you have access to the computer of an ICE apologist, white supremacist, Republican mouthpiece, right wing propagandist, or other morally bankrupt American? Install Times New Resistance and unleash some mischief.

A.I. Isn't People

https://www.todayintabs.com/p/a-i-isn-t-people
Imagine you have two machines. One you can open up and examine all of its workings, and if you give it every picture of a cat on the whole internet, it can reliably distinguish cats from non-cats. The other is a black box and it can also reliably distinguish cats from non-cats if you give it half a dozen pictures of cats, some apple sauce, and a hug. These machines sort of do the same thing, but even without knowing how the second one works I am extremely confident in saying it doesn’t work the same way as the first one.

The Hunt for Dark Breakfast – Ryan Moulton's Articles

https://moultano.wordpress.com/2026/02/22/the-hunt-for-dark-breakfast/
“In the manifold of breakfast, are there empty subspaces? Might there be breakfasts that no one has ever had? With a theoretical model of breakfast, can we derive the existence of ‘dark breakfasts,’ breakfasts that we know must exist, but have never observed?” The curtain of reality had pulled back for me, and I could no longer pretend to be ignorant of these eldritch possibilities. I furiously began to map the known breakfasts. If the dark breakfast exists, I must be able to find it in the interstices of the normal familiar world.

Please Don’t Say Mean Things about the AI That I Just Invested a Billion Dollars In - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/please-dont-say-mean-things-about-the-ai-that-i-just-invested-a-billion-dollars-in
Guys, enough is enough. Bullying is a serious issue, and it’s time for me to speak out. There’s an extremely hurtful narrative going around that my product, a revolutionary new technology that exists to scam the elderly and make you distrust anything you see online, is harmful to society. This slander is totally unwarranted, and I would really appreciate it if everyone would stop being so mean about this thing I just invested a billion dollars in.

Oprah Pursues Dr. Phil On Ship Through Arctic - The Onion

https://theonion.com/oprah-pursues-dr-phil-on-ship-through-arctic/
Winfrey stated that she had spent the past few months on the trail of Dr. Phil, traveling thousands of miles through the Alps, the Black Sea, the Mediterranean, the Russian wilderness, and, at one point, Los Angeles, where he was embedded with federal immigration officers. Winfrey alleged the pursuit was instigated after Dr. Phil strangled her beloved Stedman in retaliation for her refusal to create a female Dr. Phil to serve as his companion.

Zoppi, the lighter to quit smoking by LUCKYCO MakerWorld: Download Free 3D Models

https://makerworld.com/en/models/1178015-zoppi-the-lighter-to-quit-smoking#profileId-1187535
This innovative lighter is designed to add a touch of humor to smoking cessation while delivering a powerful message When ignited, a miniature 3D-printed hand emerges, extending a symbolic middle finger—a playful "no" to cigarettes The concept leverages humor and satire to help break nicotine addiction by making the smoking experience less appealing

"babies are born worshipping unknown gods" is one of the most incredible dwarf fortress bugs i have heard of. : r/dwarffortress

https://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress/comments/1oxdxuu/comment/nowwrov/
This goes straight to my list of all-time favourite DF patch notes Here's some of my other favorites: * Stopped vampires from pinning their crimes on babies * Serpentmen can kick * Babies no longer start strapped with a knife * Dwarf children die from embarrassment for not wearing clothes at an age of 2 * Dwarves come to the hospital to rest without injuries (and also endless tooth surgery) * Fixed bug with mules shitting luggage * For some reason, horses are now made of iron. * Made undead respectful to one another * Rain kills everything it lands on * Fixed the range of evil creatures detecting eachother, causing werecreatures and vampires to climb trees because they are scared of hell * Sleeping on a melting iceberg results in waking up as a demon

That Fucker - The Onion

https://theonion.com/that-fucker/
That fucker, aged who the fuck cares, finally kicked the bucket Monday, that prick. After living a no-good waste of a life, family and friends are invited to say good riddance, you sorry piece of shit.

HulkOutList

https://www.kennethjohnson.us/hulkoutlist/
Kenny writes..."While directing on JAG I was privileged to work with a brilliant Assistant Director named Kevin Koster. He has an amazing memory. He's able to tell you instantly all the details of every single JAG episode. -- Kevin's also a serious Hulk fan, and he gifted me with this list of EVERY reason that Dr. David Banner was driven to Hulk out. It makes very funny reading. Two of my personal faves have always been #20 & #47.

Joshua Schachter: How I turned frustration into creative success | TED Talk

https://www.ted.com/talks/joshua_schachter_how_i_turned_frustration_into_creative_success
Sharing his accidental journey to viral fame, digital pioneer Joshua Schachter reveals how programming a robot to make deliberate mistakes in otherwise deeply satisfying plotter art sparked millions of views (and hilariously strong reactions). Learn how to turn your frustration into creative success — and discover how quirky, unexpected art can captivate audiences worldwide. (Created in collaboration with Ignite Talks)

Monsanto Harvest-Resistant Corn Now Engulfing Most Of Midwest | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/monsanto-harvestresistant-corn-now-engulfing-most,37223/
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the genetically modified crop, which Monsanto originally enhanced with traits to provide resistance from pests, diseases, and environmental conditions such as drought and frost, has become completely impervious to industrial reaping machinery and has spread uncontrollably across 700,000 square miles of land. With the unharvestable corn growing through asphalt roadways and airport tarmacs all over the Midwest, FEMA has been leading efforts to evacuate millions of residents before the plants obstruct all travel in the central United States.

Monsanto Harvest-Resistant Corn Now Engulfing Most Of Midwest | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/monsanto-harvestresistant-corn-now-engulfing-most,37223
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the genetically modified crop, which Monsanto originally enhanced with traits to provide resistance from pests, diseases, and environmental conditions such as drought and frost, has become completely impervious to industrial reaping machinery and has spread uncontrollably across 700,000 square miles of land. With the unharvestable corn growing through asphalt roadways and airport tarmacs all over the Midwest, FEMA has been leading efforts to evacuate millions of residents before the plants obstruct all travel in the central United States.

Bad Crazy in Internet Space - Page 3 | Ten Ton Hammer

http://www.tentonhammer.com/node/65475/page/3
It was determined that 'The Enslaver' and his Avatar-class Titan had to go. I was approached by one of the leaders of Red Alliance to help make this happen, but almost immediately we were down the rabbit hole. Much to my surprise, the RA director didn't want in-game information from me; he wanted us to use the forensic resources of our intelligence agency to trace down The Enslaver's home address. At a coordinated time, armed with this information, a RA member would apparently cut the power to The Enslaver's house in the real world, and in EVE a RA capital fleet would assault the abruptly pilotless Titan. Yikes.

Monopoly auction rule: Official? Yes. Smart? No.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/06/03/monopoly_auction_rule_official_yes_smart_no.html
An old blog post about an “unknown” Monopoly rule has been making its way around the Web the past few days, starting with a piece on BuzzFeed, then spreading to MSN, Yahoo, HuffPo, and a slew of other places. The gist is simple: When landing on a property, you’re allowed to auction it off, with the highest bidder paying the bank, rather than just purchasing it yourself.

After Checking Your Bank Account, Remember To Log Out, Close The Web Browser, And Throw Your Computer Into The Ocean | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/after-checking-your-bank-account-remember-to-log-o,32260/?ref=auto
At Chase Bank, we recognize the value of online banking—it’s quick, convenient, and available any time you need it. Unfortunately, though, the threats posed by malware and identity theft are very real and all too common nowadays. That’s why, when you’re finished with your online banking session, we recommend three simple steps to protect your personal information: log out of your account, close your web browser, and then charter a seafaring vessel to take you 30 miles out into the open ocean and throw your computer overboard.

After Checking Your Bank Account, Remember To Log Out, Close The Web Browser, And Throw Your Computer Into The Ocean | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/after-checking-your-bank-account-remember-to-log-o,32260?ref=auto
At Chase Bank, we recognize the value of online banking—it’s quick, convenient, and available any time you need it. Unfortunately, though, the threats posed by malware and identity theft are very real and all too common nowadays. That’s why, when you’re finished with your online banking session, we recommend three simple steps to protect your personal information: log out of your account, close your web browser, and then charter a seafaring vessel to take you 30 miles out into the open ocean and throw your computer overboard.

Nothing To Do With Arbroath: Seven-year-old boy's armpit farting act deemed inappropriate for school talent show

http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2013/03/seven-year-old-boys-armpit-farting-act.html
"I got a call from the principal yesterday morning. She informed me that bodily noises were inappropriate and would not be acceptable in the talent show. Everybody takes things so serious. We're talking about a seven-year-old and armpit farts. There could be so many other worse things, and I don't agree with her decision, and I think I have hundreds and hundreds of people that stand behind the way I think," she said.

Fuck You, Slow Walkers

http://jezebel.com/5967553/fuck-you-slow-walkers
When we have to share common space, I feel like we are all better served when each of us takes reasonable measures to ensure we are not announcing ourselves too loudly. That we're not taking up more than our share of the sidewalk, talking at unnecessary volumes on the phone, or occupying the seat next to us with our bag even as the train fills to standing room only. Those kinds of acts are, I feel, deeply selfish.

Speech and Kirk Cameron – Whatever

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/03/07/speech-and-kirk-cameron/
Well, Kirk Cameron, here’s the thing. You are correct when you say you should be able to express your moral views on social issues, and as a staunch defender of the First Amendment, I will defend to the death your right to say whatever ridiculous, ignorant and bigoted thing that has been fermenting in that cracked clay pot you call a brain pan. But the First Amendment also means that when you say such things, other people have the a right to mock you and the silly, stupid words that have dribbled out of your skull through that word hole above your chin. If you call someone “unnatural,” they might call you an “asshole.” That’s the deal.

Speech and Kirk Cameron – Whatever

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/03/07/speech-and-kirk-cameron
Well, Kirk Cameron, here’s the thing. You are correct when you say you should be able to express your moral views on social issues, and as a staunch defender of the First Amendment, I will defend to the death your right to say whatever ridiculous, ignorant and bigoted thing that has been fermenting in that cracked clay pot you call a brain pan. But the First Amendment also means that when you say such things, other people have the a right to mock you and the silly, stupid words that have dribbled out of your skull through that word hole above your chin. If you call someone “unnatural,” they might call you an “asshole.” That’s the deal.

Laughing in Purgatory: Mississippi Passes Anti-Richard Dawkins Legislation

http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/2012/07/mississippi-passes-anti-richard-dawkins.html
Today we struck a blow for religious freedom in the great state of Mississippi. For too long our children have been unprotected against the nefarious teachings of Richard Dawkins. I have personally talked to many concerned parents who said that they were horrified when their children told them that God was a delusion or that human beings are simply carbon-based robots who took orders from the D-N-A. This law puts the end of that nonsense now. Let's pray that Mississippi will be a beacon of hope for the rest of our Christian nation.

Narrowed It Down To The Guy I Recognize - Television Tropes & Idioms

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NarrowedItDownToTheGuyIRecognize
You're watching one of the various Law & Order shows, the story is starting to pick up, and as the detectives start going through the usual Red Herring suspects, they interview the victim's mom and it's Angela Lansbury. Or their poolboy is Ian Somerhalder. Or William Mapother. Or "Trey" from The O.C.. Even though the detectives pass them over at first, you just know that they're going to be important in the episode, because they wouldn't have paid to cast a well-known actor in a throwaway role. It is very common that the most recognizable actor is the guilty party.

God Bless America (Official Movie Site) - From stand-up comedian and director Bobcat Goldthwait - Starring Joel Murray and Tara Lynne Barr - Now on Demand and In Theatres - Trailers, Pictures & More

http://www.magnetreleasing.com/godblessamerica/
Frank (Joel Murray) has had enough of the downward spiral of American culture, which he sees as overrun with cruelty, stupidity and intolerance. Divorced, recently fired, and possibly terminally ill, Frank truly has nothing left to live for. But instead of taking his own life, he buys a gun and decides to take out his frustration on the cruelest, stupidest, most intolerant people he can imagine—starting with some particularly odious reality television stars. Frank finds an unusual accomplice in a high-school student named Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), who shares his sense of rage and disenfranchisement, and together they embark on a nation-wide assault on our country’s dumbest, most irritating celebrities.

God Bless America (Official Movie Site) - From stand-up comedian and director Bobcat Goldthwait - Starring Joel Murray and Tara Lynne Barr - Now on Demand and In Theatres - Trailers, Pictures & More

http://www.magnetreleasing.com/godblessamerica
Frank (Joel Murray) has had enough of the downward spiral of American culture, which he sees as overrun with cruelty, stupidity and intolerance. Divorced, recently fired, and possibly terminally ill, Frank truly has nothing left to live for. But instead of taking his own life, he buys a gun and decides to take out his frustration on the cruelest, stupidest, most intolerant people he can imagine—starting with some particularly odious reality television stars. Frank finds an unusual accomplice in a high-school student named Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), who shares his sense of rage and disenfranchisement, and together they embark on a nation-wide assault on our country’s dumbest, most irritating celebrities.

Mind Thoughts... with Michael Ian Black - Let’s Not Fuck, Shall We? | VICE

http://www.vice.com/read/mind-thoughts-with-michael-ian-black-lets-not-fuck-shall-we
Why is sex such a dominant cultural theme now, and why does it seem to only be getting worse? Women have been rightly bitching about this for years, but men never seem to complain. Personally, I hate it. I hate the way men are stereotyped as sex-starved cock robots. It’s just such a basic pop culture premise that it doesn’t even get questioned; men want to fuck. All the time. Ideally while watching shit blow up.

ZOMBIES BACK ROMNEY | Weekly World News

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/44402/zombies-back-romney/
Mitt Romney was reeling when he heard that aliens from Planet Zeeba were backing President Obama and forming a super-Pac. He wanted to reach out to other “minority” Americans. He met with the Werewolf Association and a prominent Vampire Pac, but both of them rejected Romney. He looked into the Ghost Lobby, but they were also unimpressed with Romney.

ZOMBIES BACK ROMNEY | Weekly World News

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/44402/zombies-back-romney
Mitt Romney was reeling when he heard that aliens from Planet Zeeba were backing President Obama and forming a super-Pac. He wanted to reach out to other “minority” Americans. He met with the Werewolf Association and a prominent Vampire Pac, but both of them rejected Romney. He looked into the Ghost Lobby, but they were also unimpressed with Romney.

www.portionpadl.com

http://www.portionpadl.com/
"When the consumer is paying for a slice of pizza and given the choice between a bigger slice and a smaller one, it is human nature to want the bigger piece. If you’re an owner of a pizza business, convenience store, the head nutritionist of your school cafeteria, or any other business selling pizza by the slice, you realize that cutting your pizzas into equal slices is very important, by not a simple task."

www.portionpadl.com

http://www.portionpadl.com
"When the consumer is paying for a slice of pizza and given the choice between a bigger slice and a smaller one, it is human nature to want the bigger piece. If you’re an owner of a pizza business, convenience store, the head nutritionist of your school cafeteria, or any other business selling pizza by the slice, you realize that cutting your pizzas into equal slices is very important, by not a simple task."

At Airport Gate, a Cyborg Unplugged - New York Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/03/14/technology/at-airport-gate-a-cyborg-unplugged.html
"Without a fully functional system, he said, he found it difficult to navigate normally. He said he fell at least twice in the airport, once passing out after hitting his head on what he described as a pile of fire extinguishers in his way. He boarded the plane in a wheelchair."

World Wide Words: Nerd

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ner1.htm
Cartoonists, illustrators and other artists have used nerds to mean eraser crumbs for more than sixty years. When I worked at newspapers in the sixties, we had a special brush for getting rid of nerds before inking a drawing because the tiny pieces of rubber would cause blots and blobs on the art.

SWTOR Catches the Dancing Bug…that Makes Players Immortal | Inside Gaming Daily Blog

http://www.insidegamingdaily.com/2012/01/05/swtor-catches-the-dancing-bugthat-makes-players-immortal
According to a post on Geekosystem, BioWare’s new MMO allows players to dance by entering different commands—which, apparently, is something that other MMOs let you do as well, a thing I didn’t know was true. But what sets SWTOR apart from those other games is that, while your on-screen avatar is boogying with the “/getdown command”, your enemies “can’t maintain focus,” meaning you can’t get hit. This is not a bug they should have fixed :)

Python | Bernstein Bear

http://bernsteinbear.com/python
Sometimes, just to screw with people, I will rewrite .bashrc to contain only: echo "Python 2.6.6 (r266:84374, Aug 31 2010, 11:00:51) [GCC 4.0.1 (Apple Inc. build 5493)] on darwin Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information." export PS1=">>> " trap bashtrap INT bashtrap() { echo -n " KeyboardInterrupt" }

'Peeing Calvin' Decals Now Recognized As Vital Channel Of National Discourse | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/peeing-calvin-decals-now-recognized-as-vital-chann,386
Throughout its 224-year history, America has had many channels of discourse, its citizens expressing themselves by means ranging from pamphlets to protests, newspaper editorials to televised debates. In recent years, however, a significant new avenue of expression has emerged: "Peeing Calvin" decals.

The Two-Fisted, One-Eyed Misadventures Of Sportswriting's Last Badass

http://deadspin.com/5863743
One week, George came in and typed up his piece, dropped it at the editor's desk, and went off into the night. The editor looked at the copy and it was utter gibberish. Lots of consonants. Remembering that George was a touch-typist, the editor took the piece, put his hands on the keyboard, but moved them one key to the side. The piece was perfect, except George had started one key over

The 5 Best Toys of All Time | GeekDad | Wired.com

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2011/01/the-5-best-toys-of-all-time/all/1
Here at GeekDad we review a lot of products — books, toys, gadgets, software — and I know it’s impossible for most parents to actually afford all of the cool stuff that gets written up. Heck, most of us can’t afford it either, and we’re envious of the person who scored a review copy of a cool board game or awesome gizmo. (Disclosure: that person is probably me.) So while we love telling you about all the cool stuff that’s out there, I understand that as parents we all have limited budgets and we sometimes need help narrowing down our wishlists.

eSleeper combines cats, Arduino and Twitter in an eMac shell (video) -- Engadget

http://www.engadget.com/2011/12/01/esleeper-combines-cats-arduino-and-twitter-in-an-emac-shell-vi
If we had to imagine our dream DIY project chances are it would involve Arduino, Twitter and, of course, cats. How we'd combine those things we're not sure, but we'll admit to being big fans of Samuel Cox's eSleeper, which turns a hollowed-out eMac into a bed for his feline. Inside the shell is an Arduino Ethernet connected to an IR sensor, some LEDs and a sound shield. When the cat breaks the infrared beam it triggers the iconic Mac chime and turns on a series color-shifting LEDs for a little mood lighting. From there the clock starts ticking. When little Fluffy (Captain Whiskers? Matlock? Penny? Greg?) decides she's had enough napping and leaves the white plastic cocoon, tripping the IR sensor again, a random phrase is tweeted, along with the length of the cat's siesta. Check out the video after the break to see the eSleeper in all its adorable DIY glory.

Apparently Valve employees have Half-Life 3 t-shirts | Joystiq

http://www.joystiq.com/2011/12/02/apparently-valve-employees-have-half-life-3-t-shirts
Keep in mind that Valve isn't above trolling its own fans -- Gabe Newell could have a 50-square-foot room at Valve studios stuffed full of Half-Life 3 t-shirts, foam hands and head crabs to keep the excitement alive, and a lot of empty hard drive space for the actual game. Nonetheless, @Ekanaut, the marketing man for Monday Night Combat studio Uber Entertainment, spotted this Half-Life 3 shirt "worn by a Valve employee" at Seattle's Eastside Industry Night.

When Used Books Attack: Banana Edition | BOOK RIOT

http://bookriot.com/2011/11/30/when-used-books-attack-banana-edition#.TtZXeqFvb50.twitter
This monstrosity is called a Banana Candle, which consists of a banana stuck in a pineapple slice, with mayonnaise and a maraschino cherry on top. And it is a crime against nature. If someone brought this into my home, I would slap them, and then burn my house down and salt the ground where it stood. This photo is the reason flocks of birds inexplicably die and fall to the ground. Goats and gangrene, who approved this picture??? Imagine my horror – I actually touched this book.

Poe's Law - RationalWiki

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe's_Law
Poe's Law is an axiom suggesting that it's difficult to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism and its genuine proponents, since they both seem equally insane. For example, some conservatives consider noted homophobe Fred Phelps to be so over-the-top that they argue he's a "deep cover liberal" trying to discredit more mainstream homophobes.

A Cherry Pie, an Apple Pie and a Pumpkin Pie, Each Cooked Inside a Separate Cake, and Then All Cooked Together inside Another Cake

http://www.neatorama.com/2011/11/22/a-cherry-pie-an-apple-pie-and-a-pumpkin-pie-each-cooked-inside-a-separate-cake-and-then-all-cooked-together-inside-another-cake
It is a called a cherpumple, and it represents all that remains good and right in this fallen world. Pastry chef David Lowery made this 21 lb. 10 oz. concoction for guests at the Grand Geneva Resort in Wisconsin. I feel a rekindling of hope for the human race because we can still do great things like this.

Bronx Cheer For J. Lo's Phony Fiat Commercial | The Smoking Gun

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/jennifer-lopez-phony-fiat-ad-564812
While Lopez, Fiat, the automotive firm’s PR people, and its Detroit ad agency would have consumers believe that the star deigned to return home to film a low-speed pilgrimage through the gritty streets of her hometown, she actually never set foot in the Bronx during the filming of the Fiat spots.

Amazon Users Post Rave ‘Reviews’ Of UC Davis Pepper Spray | TPMDC

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/11/amazon-users-post-rave-reviews-of-uc-davis-pepper-spray.php
In the name of due diligence, TPM called up UC Davis to make sure we identified the same pepper spray police used on protesters last week. It’s the same brand, though the police use a 7 percent formula. It’s not clear whether this formula matches exactly what the police used.

Petition: Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly: Eat or drink a full dose of pepper spray on national television. | Change.org

http://www.change.org/petitions/fox-news-anchor-eat-or-drink-a-full-dose-of-pepper-spray-on-national-television
To back up your claim that pepper spray is a food product, please consume as much of it as was sprayed on each protestor's face, in one sitting, on camera at Fox News. You may mix the spray with one serving of food or drink, as I am not a sadist. Then, please relate the effects to your audience.

Microwave hack uses Arduino and TouchPad to play perfectly-timed YouTube videos while you cook | The Verge

http://www.theverge.com/2011/11/20/2574130/microwave-hack-arduino-touchpad-youtube
The μWave is a hack involving an Arduino and a TouchPad taped to a microwave door, which plays YouTube clips perfectly matched to your cooking time. This Frankenstein uses the Arduino to send data from the microwave's seven-segment displays to a web server, which finds a highly-rated YouTube video of the right length. The web client running in the browser treats you to a video clip that ends right when your food is done, then optionally tweets or sends a text message. The hack was created by students at the University of Pennsylvania, where it won first place in the PennApps Hackathon. There are no stated plans for commercialization, but the team will present the project to Google as part of the grand prize. If Mountain View announces a microwave any time soon, we'll know to expect great things.

The Sad World Of The Misunderstood House Spider | Runt Of The Web

http://runt-of-the-web.com/the-sad-world-of-the-misunderstood-house-spider
If there’s one arthropod with an unfortunately bad rap with the human world, it’s the spider. Generally reclusive and non-threatening to people, spiders eat all the creatures that annoy humans (mosquitoes, flies, roaches) while occupying the empty crevices of human shelter. And yet their very presence makes the average person go after these benevolent creatures with a fury. And so is the sad world of the Misunderstood Spider:

Burglar high on bath salts breaks into family's home, puts up Christmas decorations - NY Daily News

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/burglar-high-bath-salts-breaks-family-home-puts-christmas-decorations-article-1.977254
Cops in Vandalia, north of Dayton, say Terry Trent, 44, was high on the designer drug when he broke into a family’s home, put up some Christmas decorations and then plopped down on a couch to watch television, local station WHIO reported.

Bill Maher: Elisabeth Hasselbeck 'Had Some Bug Up Her Ass'

http://gawker.com/5859961/bill-maher-elisabeth-hasselbeck-had-some-bug-up-her-ass
Elisabeth Hasselbeck had quite a bone to pick with Bill Maher on The View this morning about a joke he'd told about her months ago, and pick it she did. One would think he'd mind being attacked, but on tonight's Late Show, Maher told David Letterman he was actually pleased with how she reacted: "Thank you, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, for making me look good!"

MIT student creates tesla coil musical hat for Halloween, survives -- Engadget

http://www.engadget.com/2011/11/15/mit-student-creates-tesla-coil-musical-hat-for-halloween-surviv
Some of us express our über-geeky tendencies by building Tron lightcycle case mods, or playing with Arduino. While others tend to err on the side of... insanity. MIT student Tyler Christensen would probably fall into that latter category, most recently strapping a tesla coil (and associated capacitors) to his head. The result is seriously impressive, and no animals (or humans) were harmed in the making of his costume -- though the DRSSTC (Dual Resonant Solid State Tesla Coil) didn't fare so well, considering that it "blew up" the day before the holiday weekend. Christensen still had a chance to test the contraption on camera before the incident, however, walking around town while zapping the sky to the tune of the Harry Potter theme song -- a seemingly appropriate selection. Check it out in the video after the break.

Stupid Raymond talent: Screaming carrier - The Old New Thing - Site Home - MSDN Blogs

http://blogs.msdn.com/b/oldnewthing/archive/2011/11/11/10235970.aspx
Similar to Mike, I was able to scream (not whistle: scream) a 300 baud carrier tone. This skill proved useful when I was in college and the mainframe system was down. Instead of sitting around waiting for the system to come back, I just went about my regular business around campus. Every so often, I would go to a nearby campus phone (like a free public phone but it can only make calls to other locations on campus), dial the 300 baud dial-up number, and scream the carrier tone. If I got a response, that meant that the mainframe was back online and I should wrap up what I was doing and head back to the lab.

Crisco TV Commercial featuring the Atari 2600 (1983) | The Retroist

http://www.retroist.com/2011/11/09/crisco-tv-commercial-featuring-the-atari-2600-1983
When frying chicken for your family it is important to never stop to play video games for an hour and leave your chicken floating in a pool of oil the entire time. But if you must insist on this behavior, make sure you hare using Crisco oil. It somehow goes against all logic and will allow your oil soaked chicken to not be oily or greasy.

Obama Now Attempting To Get Each Word Of Jobs Bill Passed Individually | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-now-attempting-to-get-each-word-of-jobs-bill,26570
"This is a truly vital piece of legislation that needs to be approved in a bipartisan manner as swiftly as possible, and if that means passing it one single linguistic element at a time, then so be it," the president told reporters, claiming he and Republican lawmakers had already agreed on several synonyms that could be substituted for various controversial modifiers.

3,000 sign whitehouse.gov petition seeking "vapid response," cookies

http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/news/2011/11/over-21000-sign-whitehousegov-petition-seeking-vapid-response-cookies.ars
The tone of the White House's response to many of the petitions has spawned the latest rapidly-rising request for a White House response, so far signed by over 3,000 registered site users. A less sarcastic, but equally critical petition criticizing the White House's treatment of the petitions has reached 13,000 signatures.

Talking the Monster to Death - Television Tropes & Idioms

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TalkingTheMonsterToDeath
The hero has cornered the vicious monster. It's taken out everyone who has confronted it thus far, and the hero seems like no exception. That's when the hero, rather than drawing a sword, pulls out his cue cards. He begins a speech about the good things in life, the wonders of good, how Humans Are Special and the monster should respect that, yadda yadda, could someone hit the mute button please? And it works. This hideous monster surrenders, lets itself die, chooses to Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence, disappears in a Puff of Logic, or what-have-you.

"You Just Don't Get It, Do You?" - A Montage of Cinema's Worst Writing Cliche on Vimeo

http://vimeo.com/24669583
A montage that I edited early-mid 2011 under my Bottoms Up Productions label for acclaimed movie blog FilmDrunk.com. Was a viral hit, featured on several websites that include The Huffington Post, NY Mag, The Daily What, and critic Roger Ebert's blog. See source link: filmdrunk.uproxx.com/​2011/​06/​cinemas-most-overused-line-you-just-dont-get-it-do-you

Woman Needs to Chill out About the Rogue Plastic Flamingos in Her Yard

http://gawker.com/5855945/woman-needs-to-chill-out-about-the-rogue-plastic-flamingos-in-her-yard
Every autumn for the past three years the well-intentioned senior boys and girls at Quincy High School in Quincy, Massachusetts have gone around sticking dozens of cheap plastic flamingos in people's yards along with signs asking for $20 donations. They call their activity "flocking." It's a har...

Woman Burns Down Friend's House For Defriending Her on Facebook

http://gawker.com/5855931/woman-burns-down-friends-house-for-defriending-her-on-facebook
One day, years from now, Jennifer Christine Harris will scroll back to this week on her Facebook Timeline and regret everything she sees. (She'll also be, like, "I still don't get the point of Facebook Timeline. The interface is so confusing and the pictures are way too big!") The Des Moines nat...

Anne Rice picks a fight with Stephenie Meyer: "Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle"

http://io9.com/5855615/anne-rice-picks-a-fight-with-stephenie-meyer-lestat-and-louie-feel-sorry-for-vampires-that-sparkle
Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. They would never hurt immortals who choose to spend eternity going to high school over and over again in a small town —— anymore than they would hurt the physically disabled or the mentally challenged. My vampires possess gravitas. They can afford to be merciful.

The 10 Most Explosively Masculine Captain Kirk Battle Techniques

http://io9.com/5855581/the-10-most-explosively-masculine-captain-kirk-battle-techniques
James Tiberius Kirk: lover, explorer, chanteur, a veritable 23rd-century bon vivant. Captain Kirk has many fine traits, but his martial prowess is perhaps most deserving of our fear and respect. Here are 10 fighting maneuvers that should be enshrined by Starfleet as "The Decalogue of Whooping Ass."

5 Surprising Upsides to Getting Married | Cracked.com

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-surprising-upsides-to-getting-married
If 21 is shooting fireballs, marriage is an epic mount: If you pick the right one, it opens up whole new areas that were previously inaccessible. And if you ever have to go back to the way it was before, you'll wonder how the hell you got everywhere on foot in the first place.

Concert Ticket Maker

http://www.says-it.com/concertticket
Now you never have to admit you missed the show. Just enter some text and click the 'Go' button. A picture of a concert ticket will be generated for you. Collect 'em, trade 'em, put 'em on your website, or e-mail 'em to your friends.

Half Of 26-Year-Old's Memories Nintendo-Related | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/half-of-26yearolds-memories-nintendorelated,2361
""Due to sheer repetition in his peak synaptic years for processing new information, every neural strand in Philip's basal ganglia is embedded with the Konami Code: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start," McCarroll said."

New College Graduates To Be Cryogenically Frozen Until Job Market Improves | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-college-graduates-to-be-cryogenically-frozen-u,17034
"The bill, expected to swiftly pass in both houses, would facilitate the subzero preservation of any graduate of a two- or four-year educational institution. Sponsors of the initiative said that with the national unemployment rate at just under 10 percent, it only made sense for young job-seekers to temporarily enter a state of supercooled stasis. "

Computer Company Started In Garage 30 Years Ago Now In Smaller Garage | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/articles/computer-company-started-in-garage-30-years-ago-no,17124
"In the summer of 1980, MIT graduates Donald Faber and Peter Haberle moved into an empty two-car garage and started work building their first ever personal home computer. Almost 30 years later, what began as a humble two-man operation has since grown into an even more humble, even more cramped computer company, based out of an even smaller single-car garage."

Essay - What to Write Next - Picking a Genre for Your Next Novel - NYTimes.com

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/01/books/review/Whitehead-t.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper
"I recently published a novel, and now it’s time to get back to work. If you’re anything like me, figuring out what to write next can be a real hassle. A flashy and experimental brain-bender, or a pointillist examination of the dissolution of a typical American family? ­Generation-spanning door-stopper or claustrophobic psychological sketch? Buncha novellas with a minor character in common? To make things easier, I modified my dartboard a few years ago. Now, when I’m overwhelmed by the untold stories out there, I head down to the basement, throw a dart and see where it lands. Try it for yourself!"

ATLUS ENDS YEARS OF ALLEGEDLY NOT PRINTING ENOUGH COPIES OF GAMES AND THEN LAUGHING AT EMPTY-HANDED CUSTOMERS, RELEASES DIGITAL DOWNLOAD VERSIONS OF PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) SYSTEM CLASSICS VIA PlayStation®NETWORK | Game development | Press release

http://www.develop-online.net/press-releases/52328/Atlus-PSN-releases
"Atlus U.S.A., Inc. today broke from its supposed practice of undersupplying the retail channel and guffawing as fans desperately scramble to find one of only dozens of copies of a game"

Getting To The Root Of The Great Cilantro Divide : NPR

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98695984
"This, it turns out, is the real problem. My whole life I've been unable to pick up on the scent that is so overwhelmingly good for cilantro lovers that it trumps any possible bad. I come to a disappointing realization: I am not an X-Man with superkeen sensory abilities. I am a sensory dud who's missing the true nature of cilantro."

My Living Nightmare Of Encouraging Kids To Read Is Over | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/my_living_nightmare_of
"After 26 long years, I can finally rest easy. Twenty-six years I spent standing in front of a camera, gritting my teeth, and shilling the latest works of every hack children's book author imaginable. For 26 years, I've told kids they could open a magical door to another world just by reading a book, when the only door it ever opened for me led to a soul-sucking career in the horrifying abyss of public television. But now, at last, it is over. I don't have to lie anymore. I don't have to live that nightmare."

Tea Party Protesters Protest D.C. Metro Service - Washington Wire - WSJ

http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2009/09/16/tea-party-protesters-protest-dc-metro-service
In case it's not clear: These nutters are complaining that government services weren't expansive enough to accommodate their protest of expansive government services. "Rep. Kevin Brady asked for an explanation of why the government-run subway system didn’t, in his view, adequately prepare for this past weekend’s rally to protest government spending and government services. Seriously."

Hard Drive weight increasing?

http://social.answers.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/vistahardware/thread/720108ee-0a9c-4090-b62d-bbd5cb1a7605
"I've noticed that as I copy data/install programs on my Laptop, the weight of the Laptop increases. I have a bad back and am medically limited on the amount of weight I can carry so I need to be very carefull not to inflict injury upon myself."

BBC NEWS | UK | Magazine | Giving up my iPod for a Walkman

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8117619.stm
"It took me three days to figure out that there was another side to the tape. That was not the only naive mistake that I made; I mistook the metal/normal switch on the Walkman for a genre-specific equaliser, but later I discovered that it was in fact used to switch between two different types of cassette."

Hallvord R. M. Steen - Most expensive javascript ever?

http://my.opera.com/hallvors/blog/2009/07/20/most-expensive-javascript-ever
"However, one of the world's biggest hardware vendors - whose name every single reader will be familiar with, and whose hardware a good share of you will be using right now - apparently didn't do their homework. When Opera's sysadmin booted up the server to test its web-based administration interface, they came across a single JavaScript statement that managed to piss off everyone up to and including the CTO."

io9 - Michael Bay Finally Made An Art Movie - Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

http://io9.com/5301898
Best movie review evar. "So yes, ROTF approaches the sublime, and then just keeps rocketing. Next stop: total anarchy. In a sense, it's the first war movie ever to convey a real sense of the fog of war, the confusion that comes with battle. Somewhere around hour nine, you will understand why friendly fire happens in wartime."

Press The Buttons: Gaming Sound Cues Of Stupendous Excellence

http://www.pressthebuttons.com/2006/11/gaming_sound_cu.html
"I have a lot of unrealistic dreams, and one of those dreams is to somehow arrange for the Legend of Zelda "opening a treasure chest" tune to play every time I open something. That melody should accompany every opening that reveals something amazing, from unpacking an order from Amazon.com to unhooking a girlfriend's bra. Holding up the revealed item for all to see is optional."

Cardboard Cat Chaise - Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/catchaise
"Although we don't claim to understand it, a cat that has installed itself in a cardboard box is a happy cat. You can exploit this mysterious fact to make a your own simple corrugated cardboard cat bed like this one, designed as a kitty-sized chaise lounge. Since it's just cardboard, it's also easy to modify this basic design to suit your own (or your cat's) taste. "

Conn. Woman Bitten After 'Bite Me' Remark : NPR

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=104648910
"A worker at the Connecticut Police Academy got into an argument with a man. She is an analyst at the academy, but the man called her a clerk. She says she responded by telling him, "bite me." She probably did not expect the man to take the invitation literally. And her antagoist, a former police captain, is accused of disorderly conduct."

Interview With a Stick of Butter « Whatever

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2009/05/15/interview-with-a-stick-of-butter
"You know what? After talking to you, I don’t think I want you to eat me all in one go. I question your willingness. I question your ability. I question your nerve. I question your worthiness. It takes a special sort of person to eat an entire stick of butter as it should be consumed, on its own, as a singular digestive experience. I see now that you’re not that person."

FML : my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the...

http://www.fmylife.com/sex/1485215
"Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops, looks directly at me, and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN!" and proceeds to flip me over, grab his clothes, and run out of my room. FML"

NewsBiscuit » Science/Technology » Evolution cannot explain existence of creationists, concedes Dawkins

http://newsbiscuit.com/2009/04/13/evolution-cannot-explain-existence-of-creationists-concedes-dawkins
"By any reading of evolutionary theory, creationists ought to have died out ages ago. They serve no function in the planet’s ecosystem, and no other species has survived so long while in such fundamental disagreement with observable reality. If I wasn’t such an ardent believer in secular materialism, I’d wager this is really troubling Darwin in the afterlife."

kanYe West : Blog :

http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog?em3106=227887_-1__0_~0_-1_4_2009_0_0&em3161=&em3281=&em3282=&em3298=
"AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE."

Topless Robot - This Is Why No One Wants to Fight Dr. Manhattan

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/03/this_is_why_no_one_wants_to_fight_dr_manhattan.php
"Another day, another Watchmen videogame, although I'm not sure which consoles this one will be coming to. FYI, it's technically safe for work, but it's probably not safe for coworkers, unless you want them to think you're some horrible pervert or something. If you do want them to think you're a horrible pervert, there are probably more effective videos to watch, though. "

Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/lovecraftian_school_board_member
"ARKHAM, MA—Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district's monthly meeting Tuesday."

Pirate Bay Witness’ Wife Overwhelmed With Flowers | TorrentFreak

http://torrentfreak.com/pirate-bay-witness-wife-overwhelmed-with-flowers-090227
"When Professor and media researcher Roger Wallis left the stand yesterday, the court asked whether he wanted to be reimbursed for his appearance. “You are welcome to send some flowers to my wife,” he responded. In the hours that followed, many Pirate Bay supporters took this suggestion to hand."

Dad Tests Limits Of Cheesecake Factory Vibrating Pager | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/dad_tests_limits_of
"After receiving the device intended to alert him when his family's table at the Cheesecake Factory was ready, local father Timothy Reardon traversed the parking lots of adjacent businesses with the pager Tuesday to determine its range. "I'll bet I can get all the way behind the Barnes & Noble, no problem," said Reardon, who has performed similar experiments with cordless telephones. "I don't want to take it too close to the Best Buy, though, because all that electronic stuff in there might screw it up." At press time, Reardon's wife and children were finishing their appetizers while Reardon was still trying to find a way to get off the roof of an Old Navy a quarter of a mile away."

LARP ALERT

http://maps.google.com/maps?cbll=40.457662,-80.007541&cbp=12,310.45443546675455,,1,10.375837805207798&gl=us&ie=UTF8&iwloc=addr&layer=c&ll=40.458262,-80.007505&oe=UTF-8&panoid=KD0g-IcPQW09qFcP2RU2kg&q=8+Sampsonia+Way,+Pittsburgh,+Allegheny,+Pennsylvania+15212&split=0&spn=0.008588,0.01693&t=h&z=16
"8 Sampsonia Way, Pittsburgh, Allegheny, Pennsylvania 15212 - Google Maps"

Single-Engine Cessna Crashes Into Bush | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/single_engine_cessna
Okay, so this one is actually kind of funny. "The Federal Aviation Administration said engine failure was to blame for a pilot losing control of a four-seater Cessna aircraft that crashed head-on into President Bush Thursday. According to the FAA report, the nose of the Cessna 350 impacted with the president's face at 110 mph, instantly killing pilot James Morris, 45. Bush reportedly suffered third-degree burns on 95 percent of his body, a broken spine, 20 shattered ribs, one collapsed lung, a basilar skull fracture, and minor leakage of cerebrospinal fluid"

Strange Attractor » Blog Archive » 20 signs you don’t want that internal social media project

http://strange.corante.com/2008/12/15/20-signs-you-dont-want-that-internal-social-media-project
"I just nearly burst my appendix laughing at Chris Applegate’s 20 signs you don’t want that social media project. I am thus inspired to write my own list of tips that, perhaps, one doesn’t really want that internal social media project after all."

Bad Hacks

http://www.badhacks.net
"If you came here hoping to find a well executed difficulty hack for Super Mario World, a lovingly crafted graphics hack of Zelda 3 or maybe an accurate translation of a Japanese RPG, prepare to be disappointed. This site solely caters for crass mutilations that nobody else wants to deal with. Expect foul language, warped logic, and crude 8-bit nudity. Prepare to journey into worlds crafted by the mentally disturbed and chronically lazy. You have been warned."

Burger King Has Dropped Their Wallet | So Good

http://www.sogoodblog.com/2008/11/19/burger-king-has-dropped-its-wallet
"It appears that in the last few days, there are a handful of bloggers who, by finding wallets on the ground, have unwittingly stumbled across the latest under-the-radar Burger King promotion. The fast food chain has dispensed agents across major U.S. cities (indications are it’s just been Chicago and Orlando so far ) to “lose” wallets. However, when unsuspecting passersby find these wallets and open them, they discover an interesting message"

girl takes world's longest shit at the cranbrook academy of art

http://intermaweb.net/index.php/2005/10/29/world-record-4-peristaltic-action
"In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions."

Speed Camera Pranks: The Muppet's Animal Caught Speeding, Driving Police Crazy

http://gizmodo.com/5069422/the-muppets-animal-caught-speeding-driving-police-crazy
"Yes, the photo above is real: It is Animal—from The Muppets—driving a British Audi while speeding through a German road. The famous pink drummer is driving the police there absolutely crazy, because he keeps doing it again and again. Or better said, the real driver is, using a low-tech approach to take advantage of a weak point of the radar cameras."

The sentences of Sarah Palin, diagrammed. - By Kitty Burns Florey - Slate Magazine

http://www.slate.com/id/2201158
"I had to give up. This sentence is not for diagramming lightweights. If there's anyone out there who can kick this sucker into line, I'd be delighted to hear from you. To me, it's not English—it's a collection of words strung together to elicit a reaction, floating ands and prepositional phrases ("with that vote of the American people") be damned. It requires not a diagram but a selection of push buttons."

And If You Direct Your Attention To The X-Axis, You'll Find I Have No Idea What I'm Talking About | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/and_if_you_direct_your
"In today's class, we'll be exploring the following principles: first, the Pythagorean theorem. Second, the reciprocal relationship between sine and cosine. And third, logarithmic functions and how they relate to me not having a damn clue what I've just said."

Scott Bakula Jumps Into McCain's Body Just Before Election | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/scott_bakula_jumps_into
"With Republican nominee John McCain continuing to flounder at the polls, the unknown force that orders the universe announced yesterday that Scott Bakula has entered the body of the struggling Arizona senator in order to "help him out of a real jam.""

Season Three Sketches - Man Sexually Harasses Himself

http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/three/sexhimself.html
"Well, you know, it started off innocently enough- flattery. I would complement the jacket I was wearing, or say "nice cologne" to myself. But soon after that I'd be at the water cooler and, uh, I would start to play with my hair. Oh, I'd try to laugh it off, pretend that nothing was happening, but that seemed only to encourage me."

The scariest thing about Sarah Palin isn't how unqualified she is - it's what her candidacy says about America | The Smirking Chimp

http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/17504
"The great insight of the Palin VP choice is that huge chunks of American voters no longer even demand that their candidates actually have policy positions; they simply consume them as media entertainment, rooting for or against them according to the reflexive prejudices of their demographic, as they would for reality-show contestants or sitcom characters. Hicks root for hicks, moms for moms, born-agains for born-agains."

Danny O’Brien’s Oblomovka » Blog Archive » reload fever

http://www.oblomovka.com/wp/2008/09/17/reload-fever
"I felt kind of dirty when I came up with that, because I felt like I was feeding the monster that was eating everyone's brain. But it also felt inevitable that sites would head this way. I'm surprised that digg.com doesn't do it now to be honest. Feed the reload beast, and the world's foolish advertisers and journalists will come baying at your door for your precious hitrates."

madhava.com/egotism/: Mirror-like finish

http://madhava.com/egotism/archive/005025.html
"Of course, the huge design choice that isn't explained, the giant in the room, if you will, shows up in this illustration from the comic: ... I can't help but think that people will encounter some difficulties in using a browser that's taller than a man. The Fitts' Law hit alone seems worth a bit of rethinking on Google's part, at least without a lot of stretching."

Nerds race across Azeroth IRL, nearly die from shame - Engadget

http://www.engadget.com/2008/08/26/nerds-race-across-azeroth-irl-nearly-die-from-shame
"Here are the facts: two dweebs thought it would be a good idea to hook up treadmills to their PCs, don brightly-colored wigs and cardboard swords, and race their avatars across about a mile of virtual turf by jogging in place with only a modicum of coordination and zero athletic ability."

Bob & Doug McKenzie's anniversary: Epic comedy "Strange Brew" turns 25 today. Don't be a hoser -- tap our review - KalamaBrew: Beer making, brewing and microbrews - Kalamazoo Gazette - MLive.com

http://www.mlive.com/kalamabrew/index.ssf/2008/08/if_ever_there_was_a.html
"Kalamazoo Gazette film critic James Sanford sat down this weekend and watched "Strange Brew," which celebrates its 25th anniversary today. He was kind enough to offer this review"

Warcraft ElF Tram Sex

http://www.se7en-x.com/yarhump
"Out of sheer boredom and the need to do a little PvP research, I recently found myself exploring the Deeprun Tram on a local roleplaying server. With exploration under way, I trekked deep within the confines of the tram and found something rather unusual. What was this standing before me? Two naked night elves of course."

Cynical-C Blog - » Atheist Finds Nothing in His Toast

http://www.cynical-c.com/?p=11173
"I wasn’t that hungry tonight so I just thought I would make some toast when all of a sudden it popped up and I was staring at the face of NOBODY in the toast! NON-HOLY WHITE BREAD! What are the chances of an atheist getting a piece of toast that looks like nothing! Somebody call the media! I haven’t been this shocked since I found the Flying Spaghetti Monster in my vermicelli."

Wait, How Old Is My Kid Again?

http://www.pirnat.com/2008/04/22/wait-how-old-is-my-kid-again
"Then all that’s left is to cron it to run daily, and point your favorite RSS reader at the feed. Voila! You’re on top of exactly how old your kid is, and quickly on your way to becoming Parent of the Year."

Molly Says: Ramones Wedding

http://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2008/01/ramones-wedding.html
"Maybe play some of their songs during the last few dances, when the older, stiff people have left and everyone's too trashed to remember that we played Teenage Lobotomy on the most special day of our lives."

hpsetdisp.pl (INSERT COIN)

http://kovaya.com/perl/show.cgi?program=hpsetdisp.pl
"Connects to a JetDirect equipped HP printer and uses HP's control language to set the ready message on the LCD display. Takes an IP address and message on the command line. My favorite message is "INSERT COIN"."

Waterhobo

http://www.waterhobo.com
"for the sake of this discussion we are talking about rabbits, however I must make a disclaimer that in motion detection and autofire if an unwitting person is tresspassing on my property and happens to walk into the field of fire... well we will refer to

Why Is It That My Girlfriend Insists On Sticking Around While I Transform Into A Werewolf? | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/why_is_it_that_my_girlfriend
"She's just going to run away as soon as the transformation is complete anyway, so why not listen to me and get a head start for once, rather than ask in muted horror what's happening to me as my nose and mouth painfully extend to 20 times their original

Someone Tries to Sell Belgium on eBay

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?cat=0&id=D8RNTVH00&show_article=1
"Hidden among the porcelain fox hounds and Burberry tablecloths on sale at eBay.be this week was an unusual item: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included).""

charles: NSFW

http://charles.livejournal.com/223396.html
"Except somehow, Scriptwriter/Director David Goyer saved the entire movie by coming up with the immortal phrase: "cock-juggling thundercunt"."

Recording Industry Bleeding Cash, Album Sales Down for Seventh Straight Year - Gizmodo

http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/home-entertainment/recording-industry-bleeding-cash-album-sales-down-for-seventh-straight-year-226380.php
"Of course, the sleazy grandma-suing record companies will blame pirates for poor sales, which is much easier than actually signing competent artists who don't crank out shitty music year after year. Most of the steaming heap is not even worth stealing."

Professor Richard Dawkins Speaks at Fair Hills Kindergarten Regarding Santa Claus, December 2, 2006. Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Short Imagined Monologues

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/18richarddawkins.html
"Together we should be working toward a point in the not-so-distant future where the words "Santa Claus" or "Kris Kringle" or "Father Christmas" create the same response as fingernails on a chalkboard."

Supercomputer CYOA - page 74

http://www.reninet.com/newman/cyoa/supercomputer/supercomputer74.html
"Stepping over to a mirror, you see yourself as you will look for the rest of your life--with a funnel-shaped object the size of an ice-cream cone sticking out of your head." No image, but this was always my favorite ending to the book.

1st Church of Pac-Man

http://www.flamingmayo.com/firstchurchofpacman/index2.htm
"Anyway, let me state this again for the record...THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS PAGE, OR AN ANTI-RELIGIOUS PAGE, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. It's a JOKE. And in all honesty, if that wasn't immediately obvious to you, you should do some deep soul-searching and consid

The Cult of Mac Blog

http://wiredblogs.tripod.com/cultofmac/index.blog?entry_id=1408908
"Suddenly, it all made sense: the hundreds of calls, the dead air, the gurgling sounds. Babies. They were picking up the receiver and pressing a button at the bottom of the handset."

Visiting Ning

http://visiting.ning.com
"Marc Andreessen finds it annoying when customers want to visit the Ning office. So we're going to stop by. Want to join us?" Notice where this little site is hosted...

QDB: Quote #609240

http://bash.org/?609240=
"One time my dad stole a roll of brightly-colored stickers from a butcher's counter that said "BREASTS" and went to the video store and stuck them on all the movies that looked likely to contain nudity."

Mologogo - downloads

http://www.mologogo.com/downloads/list
"THIS SOFTWARE IS NOT FAULT TOLERANT AND SHOULD NOT BE USED IN ANY ENVIRONMENT WHICH REQUIRES THIS, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO NUCLEAR FACILITIES, MILITARY OPERATIONS, POWER PLANTS, BOWLING ALLEY PIN MACHINES, SPACE AND/OR TIME TRAVEL MACHINES, ANYTHING

Meet the IT Gigolo

http://www.syncmag.com/article2/0,1895,1887761,00.asp
'I placed an ad on Craigslist that read, "WILL FIX COMPUTERS FOR SEXUAL FAVORS," and I've had an overwhelming number of responses.'

Wal-Mart prank

http://www.stayfreemagazine.org/archives/23/wal-mart-prank.html
"Since I was the guy who set up everything in the electronics department for almost seven months, a few small advantages were mine alone."

Internet Archive: Details: xoc - SMW

http://www.archive.org/details/xoc_SMW
"The complete soundtrack to Super Mario World, covered by one man using dozens of instruments. Roughly in game order, faithful to the originals, with some bizarre artistic license thrown around. A private hobby made public. Dedicated to Koji Kondo."

Quirk Blog: June 23, 2005 Archives - My Job

http://surgery-graphics.med.umich.edu/~matt/archives/2005_06_23.html#000742
"So here I am sitting in my office, watching with great interest while docs slice and dice someone's face so that they can wire together the broken bones underneath, and what gets me cringing and howling is the guy in the plaid suit with the four inch wid

Penny Arcade! - E32K5: Request Granted

http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2005-05-27#2601
"I have esoteric refrigerator magnets, I have an H. P. Lovecraft set and a Cooking set whose coitus has breached a terrifying, if perhaps overly specific, cavern of linguistic delights." I want H. P. Lovecraft kitchen magnets

Poor Mojo's Rant

http://www.poormojo.org/cgi-bin/gennie.pl?Rant=
"The general idea is that some jackass made a scene, and Ann Coulter was also there. I am Ajai Raj, and I am a jackass."

Language Log: No word for sex

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001979.html
'Whenever you hear someone starting to say something that begins with "The X have no word for Y", or "The X have N different words for Y", never listen to them, and always check your wallet to make sure it's still there.'

Charlie's Diary - Brief Gloat

http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blosxom.cgi/2005/03/05#writing-110
"And part of his job description includes running the company weblog." The aftermath of Joe Gordon, Waterstones employee fired with blogging as the excuse.

Big John

http://www.popdizzy.com/archives/Big%20John.jpg
"The only toilet in the world for big people." I don't want to laugh, but it's just... well, it's not a perspective I'd want to choose.

SENiOR CRANKY: I HATE INTERNET PORN

http://www.punchlinemag.com/ContentDisplay.php4?UID=421
"But most importantly I learned if you want to get anywhere in this crackerjack, caramel popcorn world, you're not getting there any faster by clicking around naughtynaughty.com with one hand in your pants."

How to Annoy

http://xdr.com/dash/funny2.txt
I think I had a copy of this tacked up to my dorm room door in college, gradually crossing off items.

dr fun 2004 11 04

http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200411/df20041104.jpg
The anti-bandwidth wasting fanatic receives the 300th office party invitation emailed as a PowerPoint attachment and his head explodes

QDB: Quote #406366

http://bash.org/?406366=
"I have no girlfriend, no money, I live at home and work at Taco Bell, but my domains don't expire until 2014 and DAMN IT FEELS GOOD!"

Penny Arcade!

http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2004-09-10#2208
One of the perpetrators of this fine daily cause of coffee-through-nose has spawned. Congratulations!

dr fun: The future of advertising

http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200409/df20040903.jpg
"Nanotechnology, genetically-modified food, and unscrupulous marketers create a proliferation of disgusting 'poop-out' ads." I absolutely love Dr. Fun. This seems like Dr. Fun dipped into Transmetropolitan for a bit, though

Quirk Blog: The Chicken Riders

http://surgery-graphics.med.umich.edu/~matt/archives/2004_08_17.html#000563
"Because, after all, nothing says 'cute' like dressing up a pair of overalls so that it makes your kid look like he's riding a gigantic mutant chicken."

Singles queue for man pillows

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,10349617^13762,00.html
"Women of all ages have reportedly been rushing to buy their very own Boyfriend Arm Pillow - a snuggly alternative to the real thing."

Googledorks!

http://johnny.ihackstuff.com/index.php?module=prodreviews
"googleDork (gOO gôl'Dôrk) noun 1. Slang. An inept or foolish person as revealed by Google.Entries by Category"

Voters Urged Not to Eat Their Ballots

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?section=news&src=rss/oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=5532085&type=oddlyEnoughNews
'"Eating a ballot, not returning it or otherwise destroying or defacing it constitutes a serious breach of the Canada Elections Act," Elections Canada warns on its Internet site.'

The LiveJournal of Zachary Marsh

http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/stories/the_livejournal_of_zachary_marsh.php
'This morning the authorities entered the home on Babson and found it deserted, the floors slick with mud and seaweed. On the computer was the LiveJournal of Zackary Marsh, with a notice reading “Update Successful.”'

The Reality of Running Away from Stuff

http://www.cc.gatech.edu/people/home/idris/Movie_Reviews/Reality_of_Running_Away.html
"Here's a chart showing maximum speeds for some of the more common Hollywood hazards measured against the fastest speeds that an Olympic level human can deliver (all in meters/second)."

Acquisition - Heap_of_Trouble

http://zed.cbc.ca/go.ZeD?CONTENT_ID=2365&page=content
'"A Heap of Trouble" shows the seismic effect on a leafy housing estate when nine naked men come marching through, recruiting other men to join'

thejohncleese.com

http://www.thejohncleese.com
"Welcome to my Web-Site. Extraordinarily exciting and dramatic things will start happening here just as soon as I've had a cup of tea."

Charles: Still in Charge

http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/06/07/171640.php
"With the recent rash of TV show reunion movies, I have come to the conclusion that one classic from the 80s is being tragically overlooked: Charles In Charge."

GI JOE cartoons edited

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/gijoe.html
"These clips are dubbed over with new dialogue and even some of the animation is changed and remixed. The result is so hilarious that I almost wet my pants the first time I saw them."

with_gusto:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/with_gusto/88573.html
"Keith said his final goodbyes, took a deep breath, and dropped his pocket calculator into the bath."

The Mighty Daemon Cron

http://groups.google.com/groups?c2coff=1&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&lr=lang_en&safe=off&selm=uybu9qpmsn.fsf@wink.sydney.trl.telstra.com.au
'There is a powerful daemon, occupying the nether realm, called "cron".'

90% Crud: New Résumé

http://george.hotelling.net/90percent/geekery/new_resume.php
George is updating his resume, but if I were him, I'd demand a re-roll or at least find someone with some decent magic items.

Reliving the '90s

http://www.geocities.com/mjlarochelle/articles/90s.html
Er.. Does this mean we're done reliving the 80s? Hey, wait, I'm not done there yet.

Penny Arcade!

http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2004-03-10#1873
'Earlier that night ... his mom chastised him, saying "Clint, I think your mother deserves better than to be killed by the translocator."'

Doctor Fun

http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200403/df20040303.jpg
"Silly rabbit - that starchy sugar-filled breakfast cereal stopped your digestive tract again and almost killed you. When are you going to learn that Trix are for kids?"

Penny Arcade!

http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2004-02-11#1831
"...imagine if you will a seven dimensional penis which can project beyond time, and even through solid matter. This metadong can be everywhere and nowhere at once, its exact physical state is constantly in flux."

Penny Arcade!

http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2004-01-16#1793
"I feel like some ninety year old man mystified by his microwave oven. Come to think of it…what the hell is a microwave, and how does it make my soup so fucking hot? Truly we live in the world of the future!"

Osamatober

http://www.benhammersley.com/dparchives/008015.html
"Noun. An event, where an incumbent reveals a remarkable victory to the nation, one month before an election."

Don't we want our food to have stories?

http://www.diepunyhumans.com/archives/006933.html
"...and some granola-crunching hippie who probably lives on rectum-paralysing medication to stop them constantly fountaining a stream of seed-riddled diarrhoea makes what they think is a point."