My Living Nightmare Of Encouraging Kids To Read Is Over | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/my_living_nightmare_of
"After 26 long years, I can finally rest easy. Twenty-six years I spent standing in front of a camera, gritting my teeth, and shilling the latest works of every hack children's book author imaginable. For 26 years, I've told kids they could open a magical door to another world just by reading a book, when the only door it ever opened for me led to a soul-sucking career in the horrifying abyss of public television.
But now, at last, it is over. I don't have to lie anymore. I don't have to live that nightmare."