#achewood

The Mayor of Starbucks can make things uncomfortable for you.

"Maybe play some of their songs during the last few dances, when the older, stiff people have left and everyone's too trashed to remember that we played Teenage Lobotomy on the most special day of our lives."

"No one's going to like anything you do to their coffee with a dildo"

"How about an RV and an all-expenses-paid minigolf tour of the 50 states?"

"We have these things called burritos, and they are an ideal foodstuff..."

"Damn, these days bein' gay is like one better than havin' an iPod!"

"If I had plans, they were made by an incorrect life I no longer maintain."

"AIRWOLF! FIND...AN OTTER!"

"I ain't need no Dell Inspiron to bust a man down on into his component pieces."

"Girls like a boy who eats cheese."

"Dang man so like you could blog directly onto a Hayes?"

"Dogg I cannot brook the gossamer bloatee"

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS