Obama Now Attempting To Get Each Word Of Jobs Bill Passed Individually | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

"This is a truly vital piece of legislation that needs to be approved in a bipartisan manner as swiftly as possible, and if that means passing it one single linguistic element at a time, then so be it," the president told reporters, claiming he and Republican lawmakers had already agreed on several synonyms that could be substituted for various controversial modifiers.