#thanksgiving

Perhaps some time after your Thanksgiving dinner, possibly in a stuporous, tryptophan-induced state, you turned on your television to see a glistening, eyebrowless humanoid engaging in acts for your ostensible entertainment. And while you may have concluded this was all a dream or a hallucination, let us assure you that “A Very Gaga Thanksgiving” was an actual holiday special that featured the pop star Lady Gaga and was indeed broadcast on the ABC network.

The Department of Homeland Security is taking any threat seriously during the Thanksgiving holiday, including the ominous threat to our national security posed by turkey fryers.

As more retailers try to turn Thanksgiving Thursday into Black Friday — some employees are fighting back.

I'm definitely not a Palin fan, but this non-story is stupid. I'm squeamish about it, but how the hell do you think the turkey gets on the table? I bet reactions to turkey slaughter help divide people into tribes even better than "You betcha" and "Joe sixpack" verbal cues. I wouldn't be surprised if it were a bit intentional ... "Some videos you just have to see to believe. On Thursday, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin appeared in Wasilla in order to pardon a local turkey in anticipation of Thanksgiving. This proved to be a slightly absurd but ultimately unremarkable event. But what came next was positively surreal. After the pardon Palin proceeded to do an interview with a local TV station while the turkeys were being SLAUGHTERED in the background!!"

"Coming soon next to the Coke and Pepsi in a store near you: ham-and latke-flavored soda to make your holiday feast complete."