Celebrate the fictitious 35th anniversary of Ruin, a faux point-and-click adventure game that never was | Rock Paper Shotgun

The actual game in question here is Ruin: Chapter 0, an interactive fiction game in the stylings of something you might have seen on the ZX Spectrum, albeit with a lot more flair. And, perhaps, a lot more glitches - a big flashing imagery warning is needed for this one. Playable within your browser, it's kind of hard to describe what you do, or even what you're doing, in Ruin. From what I can gather, you are a knight, the hero of rune, tasked by the king to retrieve a sword and defeat evil forever. But no matter what, I just keep getting my ass kicked by this evil, and every time I die it just says "get owned" at me! Rude!